"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"

It seems that real life and fantasy are getting a bit blurred lately. Regular readers may recall that I had a bit of bother with the Land Rover (aka 'The Tractor') a couple of weeks ago and I'm afraid it's still broken. This is deeply irritating, as it's only six months out of warranty and yet it appears to have nadgered a fuel pump due to leaking diesel injector seals. This would be bad enough, but there's also something peculiar going on, that prevents the engine starting with any kind of reliability.

This lack of reliability seems to have rubbed off on my Fantasy Formula One Grand Prix team.

One of the blokes at work runs a Fantasy Formula One League every year, and I took part for the first time last year. At the start of the season you have to pick two mini-teams. Each mini-team has two main drivers and a reserve driver. Each driver has a cash value, and you are limited to a total budget of forty million pounds to pay for all six drivers. Because you cannot afford to fill your team with all the 'top' drivers, you're forced to buy in some of the less obvious candidates for the winners podium.

Points are awarded to drivers based on the finishing positions for each race. It makes the races more fun to watch, because you end up supporting people you normally wouldn't have any interest in.

Last year was pretty good, and my team finished the season in a respectable position, somewhere in the top ten.

This year has not gone so well however, with some of my drivers barely capable of finding their way to the race-track, let alone the finishing line.

Of the twenty cars to start the Bahrain Grand Prix last weekend only the one driven by Nakajima failed to finish. Yes, you've guessed it. He's in my team.

To make matters even worse, Blight-of-my-life negotiated a deal with with one of my workmates who has no interest in motor racing, and he agreed to 'front' a team for her. Her team is doing considerably better than mine and I'm sorry to say that her attempt at sympathy ("Oh dear, perhaps you won't be bottom of the league after the next race") would have been more convincing if she hadn't been smirking quite so much.

I don't know if there is some mysterious link between my Fantasy Formula One team's fortunes and the health of The Tractor, but if there is, I really hope that Messrs Alonso, Bourdais, Barrichello, Kubica, Nakajima and Beumi get their act together soon.