"That's a good bit of wood, son"

So there I was, having a chat with my newsagent, when someone said, 

"Oh, Hi Kim". 

This confused him, as it's not his name and he wouldn't expect anyone to call me Kim, because he knows me as Chris.  .  .     

Anyway, I turned round and there was Reallyfatbloke's 'Wifey'. 

I realized that I'd been caught out, looking at the model railway magazines and floundered a bit, but fortunately I was saved from major embarrassment, when it turned out that she was buying a woodworking magazine. 

It appears that RFB, having started a woodwork evening class, is in danger of becoming a wood zealot (Xylophile?).

"I thought I'd get him some wood-porn", she said.

As a matter of fact, the woodwork magazines are on the top shelf, so this is not entirely ironic.

"And he's started talking about routers . . ." 

There's not much hope for him really.